"Enlightenment for a wave is the moment the wave realizes it's water." -Thich Nhat Hanh
The Heart Revival was (and is) the community that offered me the space to heal a very agitated, anxious, and fearful heart into a heart of confidence and peace. I sat through my very first sangha community meditation session working through a panic attack with 30+ people in the room. Thank God I had a very good friend with me for support and that the room was dark so I could relatively "hide". I was in a very delicate state wanting to be more rooted.
A few weeks prior, a coworker bought me a 2 week yoga gift certificate adamant that I sign up for the Sangha Mediation class first. I was extremely hesitant. She kept coming into my classroom asking if I signed up yet, and by the third push, I relented. I had lots of personal beliefs that were barriers in my walk into healing about what was considered "right" or "wrong". Really, I was so fearful to be seen. My hurts. My experiences. I was harboring so much grief that it was affecting my overall being in really unhealthy ways. I knew if I didn't change something it was going to effect my heart and send me down the path of health problems. So, with my heart racing and a lump in my throat, I walked up the stairs into the room wondering (truth be told in full judgement and much shame for admitting it now) what kind of "seance" this was going to be. And it was so unlike what I thought it was going to be.
I have been in a room before with breathing people, but I have never been in a room before and started anything with one collective breath. The out-breath was one collective exhale that if someone never understood or experienced what the breath of God is, to me, that was it. These were people from so many different backgrounds, struggles, fears, conditions, etc. that held space for me like I never experienced in a community before, but always wanted.
Overtime, I knew if I wanted to break through my own personal judgements and barriers I needed to open my mouth and have some semblance of words come out. I was so used to submission that my voice would shake when I would share and my pits would trickle sweat, my body would tremble. Even when my voice couldn't find ground sharing my thoughts and experiences there was no judgment from others (or if there was, I didn't notice). Neither did they look away. It was so healthy and healing. It was understood that when people shared you actively listened and gave them the space to find their voice. Over time, through loving-kindness meditations and sharing, I was able to create more expansion and space in my own mind and heart to be able to open to peace for myself and others practices and beliefs. Which, led me to yoga teacher training and working on my own personal faith relationship with God.
Transcending fears and transforming anger can seem such a magnitude of a thing to overcome. It definitely is not something that is done in a day, or a week. It's a transmission that happens over time through vulnerability, softness, contemplation, meditation, prayer, and interconnected practices. My journey looks very different than others, the language that I use may be very different than others, but underneath everything the vibrational frequency of unconditional love and Absolute Truth is present no matter the practice and we are equal from one unified Source of Love. When one begins to find this peace they want to hold space for others to do the same on the path...
Join me @theheartrevival in the coming months, every second Tuesday for the Interfaith Circle, discovering peace on the path through meditation and connection. All faiths and practices are welcomed to come. Pay what you can. Come as you are.
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WAVES: The Cell of Me - Living a Life of Love. (Book available on Amazon)
If we talk about a metamorphosis, seasons of change, embracing the delights and blessings through a deeper connection with the All, this was my story of faith. Of coming into a deeper relationship with myself through the opening of meditation practices and the connection of prayer. Of yogic practices that helped me to be in my body and mind as good and not bad. Of experiences that expanded my heart to align with passions and missions. Of recognizing the innate Spirit within, rather than a constant reaching and grasping without. Of sitting with discomfort and reveling in awe and wonder. Of grieving loss, transcending fear, transforming anger, leaning into forgiveness, creating a personal relationship with the auspicious and mysterious wonder of the Three in One. Of finding peace on the path. Faith is confidence. Faith is connection. Faith is compassion. Faith is the thread that weaves time, experience, feelings, sensations with Absolute Truth. This was my story of becoming. I wrote this first for personal reasons, as well as an invitation for others to share their’s.
“Enlightenment for a wave is the moment the wave realizes it is water.”
Photo by Lottie Lillian
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