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  • Writer's pictureHeidi Nehring

The Why & the Ampersand – The connecting tissue

The Why – The connecting tissue that allows for curiosity, realizations, and growth. I was taught to ask “why” meant I was weak, that I doubted God – “Ye of little faith.” My faith was hungry for knowledge. My faith wanted to uncover and discover God in all aspects – why when I sing or hum certain sounds this happens? Why when I read or write this type of rhythm and flow, this happens? Where does this come from? I always had a strong desire to feel this expansiveness of freedom and joy.

So, why yoga? Why spiritual practice? I want to understand when I move and breath and sing and dance and speak specific things certain things happen. Why I feel closed in some aspects? Why I tremble and shake in others? Why I feel so elated and joyful and moving and open in others? Why some days I can connect with myself? And some days I can’t?

If you become hurt in life physically it’s easy to sense the location of the pain by how it looks and feels. When you are hurt internally it requires a certain amount of willingness, openness, and concentration to say, “Ouch! Yes. This is where I am tender where I didn’t even know I was tender. This is how I coped with it, unaware I was coping with it in this way, creating a barrier around my heart not allowing myself to feel and be tender and loving with myself. You know when you have begun to find healing because you have some reaction within the grieving process, and it’s beautiful, and lovely, and so very hard. But as we allow ourselves to become closer to uncovering our truths, giving permission to let our lights illuminate our truths, the more we give ourselves the gift of space and forgiveness through emotional release and breath and movement and flow. The river will course, and the movement of the spirit will happen, and you will feel relief. You will feel connection and true love. It will ebb and flow – come and go – weave and bob.

What are practices that ground you? That remind you of your humanity to help you feel whole and connected to all of the elements because you understand your whys? We were created in the likeness of Light/God/Truth/Source. We were created to be living manifestations of the truth in body, mind, soul, and spirit. We were given the gift of breath and emotions to keep us alive and well and moving and breathing. The ampersand is so important – the symbol for the word “and” – it connects – it allows for breath and movement and vitality. One aspect needs to connect with the other. You are magnificent miracles in anything but a mundane life. Find ways to open – to practice, to heal, so you can be the you you’ve always wanted to be and always have been. You are and always will be. I am on the same road to recovery as you. Writing this is a practice that aids in my flow to all things beautiful. It all started in my life with the word, “Why?” and making meaningful connections.

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